Divorce is often a painful ordeal, and for many, it’s an unexpected journey. But beneath the surface of failed relationships lies a fundamental truth: values matter. In the quest for lasting love, aligning your values with your partner’s is crucial. This article delves into the significance of values in relationships, offering insights and guidance on how to navigate this essential aspect of partnership.
Honest communication is vital for managing differences in values and expectations.
Identify Your Values: Before seeking alignment with a partner’s values, it’s imperative to understand your own. Values are the core of your identity, guiding your aspirations and priorities. To identify your values:
Create a list of common values.
Select your top five values that reflect the person you want to be.
Consider these values within the domains of self, relationships, and work.
Living Your Values: Once you’ve identified your values, it’s essential to integrate them into your daily life. If you value something, make time for it, whether it’s volunteering, giving back, or pursuing personal growth. Aligning your actions with your values prevents hypocrisy in your relationship.
Alignment in Relationship Values: While love often blurs differences, discussing values is vital for long-term harmony. Some values are particularly crucial for romantic relationships:
Parenting: Discuss your desires and expectations regarding children. Be clear about the number of kids you want and your parenting style.
Religious Faith: Consider the role of religion in your life and whether it’s essential that your partner shares your beliefs.
Frugality: Money can be a source of tension. Understand each other’s financial values, risk preferences, and long-term financial goals.
Quality time is key to intimacy, but it means different things to different people. Find common ground on how you want to spend your time and how much quality time you expect in your relationship. Relationships are built on shared values, making it essential to understand your own and communicate openly with your partner about theirs. While disagreements may arise, finding alignment in values is the foundation for lasting love. Don’t wait for a breakup to realize the importance of values in your relationship; take the initiative to discuss and align them now.
But with talks set to pick up steam, the New York Democrat could soon be playing a more pivotal role. Should a compromise bill be reached between the White House and congressional GOP leadership, it would almost assuredly require some — if not many — House Democratic votes to get through that chamber.
Two years ago, the solution for Biden would have been easy: Let then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi — the premier vote wrangler of her generation — do the work. Now it’s on Jeffries, someone the White House is still getting to know. The two only had their first known substantive meeting this past January, when Biden huddled with the top Democratic leaders at the start of the new Congress.
In short, the first pivotal test of his and Biden’s ability to work together could take place with the global economy on the line. And how that goes will provide an early glimpse of what Democrats hope will be the dominant partnership in Washington in 2024 if Biden wins a second term and Democrats win back the House. Not everyone in the party is sure of what to expect.
“All of this is going to need a level of coordination we haven’t yet seen,” said a senior Democratic House aide. “This will be the first time things are tested.”
Jeffries, the first Black lawmaker to ever lead a party in Congress, is nearly 30 years Biden’s junior — he was all of 2 years old when Biden arrived in Washington for his first Senate term.
Their lack of shared history is evident in how little the two have talked about each other in public. For a man who loves to riff on the political leaders he knows well, the only anecdote Biden has shared publicly about Jeffries is that, as vice president, he campaigned for him in 2012. Jeffries returned the favor during Biden’s presidential race in 2020.
Two days before the election as they campaigned together outside Philadelphia, the two men engaged in small talk that quickly turned serious, as reported in “This Will Not Pass: Trump, Biden, and the Battle for America’s Future.” Biden warned that if they don’t win, “I’m not sure we’re going to have a country.”
Neither party would say how frequently Jeffries and Biden communicate directly. But they have held at least two calls — one of which has not been previously reported — in late April that included Schumer as the debt limit debate ramped up, according to a person familiar with the conversations.
In interviews with a dozen lawmakers, senior aides and administration officials, a picture is painted of a relationship that’s been largely positive (with some brief missteps) but still very much developing. Those close to Jeffries and Biden say that communication is frequent between both camps from principals to senior staff. They point to their similar messaging and strategy on debt limit — so far. Jeffries is also in regular contact with White House chief of staff Jeff Zients through meetings and calls. The two had a long working lunch two weeks ago to discuss the debt limit, according to a senior administration official granted anonymity to speak freely.
The president “has a strong relationship with Leader Jeffries and a great deal of respect for the masterful job he’s doing as head of the House Democrats and holding Republicans accountable for their extreme MAGA agenda, like forcing the most draconian cuts to veterans in American history in order to cut taxes for the rich,” said White House spokesperson Andrew Bates.
In a statement to POLITICO, Jeffries praised Biden.
“He’s a good man, visionary leader and transformational president who has been there for me since I arrived in Congress,” he said. “House Democrats look forward to our continued work together to make life better for everyday Americans.”
Overshadowing the Biden-Jeffries relationship is the absence of Pelosi. For years — decades even — Biden world and its Democratic predecessor were able to rely on Pelosi’s political acumen to help shepherd tough bills and must pass legislation through that chamber. The trust built over time was so profound that it altered White House whip operations. In Nancy we trust, the saying went.
Jeffries, in some ways, is just now building a working relationship with the Biden White House, though Louisa Terrell, director of the White House Office of Legislative Affairs, said Biden’s relationship with Pelosi helped lay the foundation for what’s being built now.
“We felt like we had built a scaffolding around how we work together and the ease in which the president could pick up the phone, the ease in which we all did our work together, and we went right into the 118th with that,” Terrell said in an interview. “We have a proof point” that it can be productive, she said, pointing to the legislative accomplishments of the last Congress, such as the Inflation Reduction Act, bipartisan infrastructure law and semiconductor policy.
Still, there is evidence of growing pains. Back-to-back episodes of mixed messages on Biden’s position on high profile legislation earlier this year rankled House Democrats who felt the White House blindsided them — one on a GOP-backed bid to repeal changes to the D.C. criminal code and the other on efforts related to Covid restrictions.
Privately, rank-and-file House members and senior aides blamed the White House for misreading the potency of the issues. They call the incidents frustrating but have largely moved on. Since then, the White House has provided clear and early Statements of Administration Policy on hot-button Republican bills, including legislation to prohibit transgender girls from participating in women’s sports.
Jeffries refused to criticize the White House in either instance. When pressed by CNN shortly after the two bills moved, he described Democrats as “incredibly unified.”
Terrell also pointed to unified messaging on more recent policies, such as the Texas ruling on abortion medication, as proof of that positive relationship.
“What I really care about is: Are we all talking to each other? Are they getting the information they need? Are we hearing from them and what they’re hearing from their constituents? How do we fight in these really hard fights and frankly, how do we take back the House?” she said.
To that end, the White House legislative staff participates in at least seven regular “check-ins” with House leadership staff and seven weekly meetings with various groups, including House staff directors and caucuses.
Biden has told leadership and rank-and-file members to use an older means of technology to communicate with the White House.
“We’ve heard the president say: you literally have the bat phone, please call anytime,” Terrell said. “My door’s always open to you. My phone is always open to you. I know how meaningful it is to [have a] back and forth.”
Jeffries’ first true test as minority leader will be ensuring House Democrats stay aligned in backing Biden’s position against bargaining on raising the debt limit. The more significant obstacle will come much closer to the so-called X-date — when the government runs out of money and can’t pay its bills.
Before Tuesday’s meeting was arranged, a handful of moderate Democrats, including Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia, broke ranks publicly and said Biden needs to get to the negotiating table. Ahead of the meeting, Democrats are largely aligned in arguing that Republicans should lift the debt ceiling without conditions and then hold a separate negotiation on the budget.
Only three weeks out from default, Jeffries refused to commit House Democrats to supporting any deal struck between Biden and McCarthy but he insisted they’re in line with the president.
“We’re in lockstep right now in terms of the path forward that President Biden laid out,” he said Sunday on “Meet the Press.” “Ultimately, everyone evaluates on the merits, on any particular piece of legislation, that is presented to us.”
If a deal is hatched, Biden will almost certainly need at least some votes from House Democrats, as House Republicans are likely to balk at a compromise that moves substantially off of the bill that they passed.
At that juncture, Jeffries brings some attributes to the table. He has a working relationship with McCarthy, including texting and coordinating on some joint statements, such as a recent statement calling on Russia to release political prisoners Evan Gershkovich and Paul Whelan.
He also has strong support among his rank-and-file.
“Hakeem’s got a good relationship with everyone in the caucus,” said Rep. Scott Peters (D-Calif.). Comparing the Senate minority party with the House minority, “McConnell’s sort of backed away, and Hakeem’s been engaged. … I think Hakeem’s the right guy.”
While allies acknowledge that Jeffries — and his relationship with Biden — has yet to be tested and he will likely face difficult comparisons to Pelosi as he moves forward, there is a willingness within the caucus to give him space and trust.
“Jeffries has done a great job so far,” said Rep. Jamaal Bowman, a fellow New York Democrat. “We’re going to have to find common ground and collaboration; he is clear eyed about that. He’s not going to bet and risk destroying our economy or cutting things to the most vulnerable people among us.”
Bowman said he’s confident Jeffries and Biden are on the same page. And he pushed back on the idea that the new leadership role or the high-stakes fiscal standoff have put any new amount of pressure on him.
“He’s been a Black man in America his entire life. He’s had to operate in white patriarchal spaces,” he said. “It’s not always easy for people of color and women to operate in those spaces and thrive — he has done so. I’m sure his approach is: I gotta always bring my A game.”
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( With inputs from : www.politico.com )
Hyderabad: Tollywood actor Naga Chaitanya who is gearing up for his next film Custody’s theatrical release is hitting headlines nowadays because of his personal life. The actor got married to Samantha Ruth Prabhu in 2017 but their relationship did not last long and the couple got divorced in 2021. It is now rumoured that Chay is dating actress and model Sobhita Dulipala currently.
Yes, since the picture of Naga Chaitanya Akkineni and Sobhita Dulipala from a fancy restaurant went viral on social media, it is rumoured that they are dating each other. Reacting to the rumours, Chay had once said that he doesn’t like how the media is connecting the dots and speculating about his love life which is a very personal matter.
After Naga Chaitanya, now Shobhita too publicly talked about her rumoured relationship with Custody actor. She said, “I’m only focused on my work for now. I want to do meaningful content. I don’t care about the rumors that are in circulation about my personal life. I haven’t done anything wrong so there’s no reason for me to panic.”
When asked whether she is in a relationship with Chay or not, Sobhita said, “It’s my personal choice. I don’t have to clarify what happens with me and my life. It’s not in the public domain. There’s absolutely no need for me to speak about or clarify about my life.”
Well, it is their personal life and fans should respect their decisions.
I am a woman in my late 30s, married with two small children with a rewarding and demanding career. I live some hours’ drive away from where I grew up and where my mum lives. I really love my life but I need some advice regarding my relationship with my mum.
My lovely dad died last year. He was much loved and I miss him a great deal, but he gave me so much over his lifetime that I am doing OK without him. My family has probably had more loss than most. One sister died before I was born, and another older sister in her early 30s.
My mum has called the loss of my dad the hardest of all – she says it compounds all the other losses (she was dealing fairly well with them all before his death). I love her very much but I feel responsible for her and guilty that I live so far away. She’s upset that we don’t live closer. She is in her mid-70s, in good health but always tired. She has an excellent friendship network, including great neighbours.
She wants to be thought of as helpful to me with the kids (but she isn’t really). I feel I have to tiptoe around her, validate her and let her critical comments go over my head. I often dread seeing her, but know I shouldn’t given I am all she has left. I feel very guilty about our relationship, but also powerless.
I feel I need to try harder, be kinder and more patient, but I really am trying my hardest and I do suspect that actually she is a bit angry with me and is pretty mean to me from time to time. I can’t win.
What a huge amount of loss you and your mother have suffered. I am so sorry. You are treading a very tight line and one a lot of readers will recognise, the one between retaining some sanity for yourself but being a “good enough” daughter. All while grieving.
Your mother probably has a lot of “caring” to give that is now fully focused in your direction; and I would guess she is actually quite scared to fully let herself care for you for fear of another loss, hence also being mean (this is not an excuse however). But you are not responsible for your mother. You have your own losses to deal with and you have young children and they are your priority. If you deplete yourself you won’t have very much left for yourself/your children.
I consulted clinical psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist Poul Rohleder. He noted immediately the loss of a child born before you. “Maybe even as a baby you picked up an emotional atmosphere, that there was a grief you had to make better.” Babies are masters at picking up moods and non-verbal cues.
We wondered what growing up was like and if you felt the burden of making your mum happy, and if being with your mother [now] is possibly a reminder of the pain you want to get away from yourself?
Rohleder wondered how much your losses had been spoken of and how much your own grief “has been worked through. Sometimes it’s helpful to move away from pain but sometimes we have to face into it, and work through it.”
Have you and your mum (separately – Rohleder thought it was important for you to untangle your grief from your mum’s) looked into bereavement counselling? Perhaps if your mum had somewhere to “bring” her grief that would be one less thing for you to worry about.
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I also wondered what you were looking for with your mum? Can you accept that some visits/conversations won’t be ideal? Do you feel that she will die if you don’t stay in touch? That’s a very “young” feeling – that if you abandon her or ignore her, she will suffer – and one you may have picked up as a child.
A few practical solutions: is there an adopt a granny scheme where you live? Could your mum get a pet – it sounds trite but can work wonders. I’d also like you to listen to this podcast I did on dealing with a difficult older parent which may help.
Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
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( With inputs from : www.theguardian.com )
Mumbai: Popular TV actress Jannat Zubair and social media influencer Faisal Shaikh have sparked dating rumours again after they shared photographs on Instagram. As the duo always rejected their relationship rumours and said that they are just good friends, fans want them to turn their friendship into a lifetime relationship.
In the pictures, both Jannat and Faisal can be seen wearing traditional outfits. In the caption, they dropped three moon emojis for the three photos they posted. Moments, after they shared the photographs, netizens started reacting to the post. Some even went on to wonder if Jannat and Faisal just confirmed their relationsip indirectly on Instagram.
One of them wrote, “Totally unexpected.” Another commented, “Bahot khoobsurat jodi hai (You make for a beautiful couple).” There was a fan who called them ‘Jodi No. 1’.
As the duo look very cute together, both of them were separately asked about their relationship status earlier. Faisal had told BT last year, “We have been friends for years and continue to be very good friends. We have done many projects together and will do many more. Logo ko aisa bahut lagta hai par aisa kuchh bhi nahi hai (People assume that we are dating but that’s not true). Zaroori nahi jo onscreen chemistry hai woh offscreen bhi ho (It’s not necessary that the camaraderie two people share on screen will be similar to what they share offscreen). Offscreen, we are great friends.”
Jannat Zubair was also quoted saying, “For the next few years, I don’t want to indulge in dating and love and just focus on work and family. I do see myself somewhere in the next five years and to achieve that I have to work hard. I had a vision for myself even a few years back, which I have accomplished now.”
Whatever, but fans want to see them together forever. How you rate them, do mention in the comments section.
Hyderabad: Rumours of Naga Chaitanya and Sobhita Dhulipala’s relationship have been circulating for quite some time. Neither of them, however, has confirmed or denied the reports. Fans are eager to learn more about their rumoured romance. And now, actor and Chay’s brother Akhil Akkineni’s recent comments on the rumoured couple has only added more fuel to the speculations.
Akhil is currently promoting his upcoming film Agent and during one of the recent interviews he was questioned about Naga Chaitanya and Sobhita’s alleged relationship. Akhil was quick to clarify that he had no knowledge of it. According to Cine Josh, the actor was focused on transforming his physique for his role in Agent, and he was unaware of his brother’s personal life at the time.
While both Chaitanya and Sobhita are preferring to remain tight-lipped about their budding romance, their leaked pictures from vacations in abroad have been only sparking more and more speculations about their dating life. Check out the viral pics below.
Akhil Akkineni, a young and talented Tollywood actor, also discussed a possible multi-starrer with his brother, Naga Chaitanya.
During the promotion of his upcoming film, Agent Akhil discussed the expectations that come with multi-starrers, particularly those starring real-life brothers. He expressed his desire to work on a multi-starrer with Naga Chaitanya if a strong script is found.
Fans are excited to see the Akkineni brothers share the screen again after Akhil made a statement about a possible collaboration with his brother. The brothers previously collaborated on the critically acclaimed film Manam.
On the work front, both brothers are preparing for the box office releases of Akhil’s Agent and Naga Chaitanya’s Custody.
Mumbai: When two mature persons have had a relationship, one of them can not allege rape later when the relations turn sour or do not culminate in marriage, the Bombay High Court has said.
Justice Bharati Dangre passed the ruling on March 29 while discharging a man from a case of rape lodged against him by a woman at the suburban Versova police station in 2016. The judgement became available this week.
“Two matured persons coming together and investing in a relationship, one cannot be blamed only because the other complained of the act at some point of time when the relationship did not go well and for whatever reason need not ultimately culminate into a marriage,” the court said.
The 26-year-old woman had claimed in her complaint that she met the man through social media, and he had a physical relationship with her by making false promises of marriage. The man subsequently moved the court seeking to be discharged from the case, pleading innocence. The judge, while granting his plea, noted that he and the woman were in a relationship for eight years.
“Admittedly, the prosecutrix (the complainant) was major at the time when the relationship was established, both emotionally and physically. She was at the age where she is presumed to have sufficient maturity of understanding the consequences of her act and according to her own version, on some occasions, the relationship was consensual, but some times it was forcible,” HC said.
The relationship had continued for “a considerable length of time” and this fact does not lead to the conclusion that “on every occasion, only on the promise of marriage the sexual relationship was established,” it added.
Further, Justice Dangre noted that merely because the relationship had turned sour it cannot be inferred that the physical relationship on every occasion was against her will. As per her own version, she consented to physical relationship not only because of the promise of marriage but also because she was in love with him, the judgement said.
Hyderabad: Samantha Ruth Prabhu, has taken to Twitter to clarify a recent report that claimed she commented on her ex-husband Naga Chaitanya’s dating rumours with actress Shobhita Dhulipala. The report was based on an old photograph of the couple in London, in which Chaitanya posed with a chef and Shobhita sat at a table behind them.
Samantha took to Twitter on Tuesday to respond to a report. “I never said this!!” she wrote on social media.
Popular Telugu news portal Great Andhra earlier quoted Samantha saying, “I am not bothered as to who is in a relationship with whom. Those who do not know the value of love will be left in tears irrespective of the number of people they date. At least that girl should be happy. If he changes his behavior and looks after the girl without hurting her, it will be good for everyone,”.
Samantha was previously married to Naga Chaitanya, whom she divorced in October 2021 after four years of marriage. They have stated that their friendship of over a decade will always hold a special place in their hearts, and they have asked their fans and the media to stand by them during this difficult time.
Samantha is keeping herself busy with her upcoming projects despite her turmoil. She will star alongside Varun Dhawan in the Indian remake of Citadel, she also appears alongside Dev Mohan in Gunasekhar’s ‘Shaakuntalam’, which is set to be released on April 14 in Telugu, Hindi, and Tamil. She will also be seen in the upcoming romantic film Khusi, opposite actor Vijay Deverakonda.
Samantha’s denial of the rumors surrounding her ex-husband’s love life has put an end to the speculation, and her fans are eagerly looking forward to her upcoming projects.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu and Naga Chaitanya (Instagram)
Hyderabad: Rumors about Naga Chaitanya and Shobhita Dhulipala’s alleged affair have been circulating in the Tollywood industry. Both the actors remained tight-lipped about the rumours for a long time, but recent events have shed light on their relationship.
It all started when a popular restaurant’s chef posted a photo of Naga Chaitanya and Shobhita Dhulipala eating together. This leaked photo has raised many eyebrows and fueled further speculation about their relationship.
Samantha, Naga Chaitanya’s ex- wife, has, on the other hand, responded to the rumours with poise and maturity. She stated that, “I am not bothered as to who is in a relationship with whom. Those who do not know the value of love will be left in tears irrespective of the number of people they date. At least that girl should be happy. If he changes his behavior and looks after the girl without hurting her, it will be good for everyone”.
On the professional front, Samantha is preparing for the release of her period drama ‘Shaakuntalam’, which is scheduled for April 14, 2023. She also co-stars with Varun Dhawan in the Indian remake of the popular American action drama ‘Citadel’.